• me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
  • cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
  • me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo


Oh my god youre straight? I had no idea. You seem normal to me. Did you know that Sara is straight to? You two should totally hook up. I cant believe youre straight. You could be my straight best friend. We could go to football games together. Itll be so much fun. So like how long have you been straight? Youre whole life!? No way.

(via cannibalbastard)


if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough

(Source: trashboat, via nurns)


can someone invent a candle that smells like a blown out candle

(via i-battle-blind)


ariana grande reminds me of the annoying girl at school with mediocre vocals that always gets asked to sing the national anthem or something for school events 

(via intheskywithpaul)


If clean bass drum runs don’t turn you on, idk what to tell you bro

(via band-geek-things)




the sun has come out

the sun is gay

*white girl voice* why are the hot ones always gay

(Source: tomsigh, via oneofakindconformist)


hash browns will be served at my wedding

(Source: netlfix, via sambourine)


it’s sad when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.

(via platonicboners)


school just doesnt fit in with my heavy rock n roll lifestyle

(via castiel-thesassyangelofthelord)